There’s a Thin Line Between Self-Harm and Self-Care

I wonder why we get so comfortable with pain.

Walter Pop Matthews IV

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Photo by Teddy Tavan from Pexels: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-white-crew-neck-shirt-3996081/

Lack of sleep. Low energy. Mindless scrolling. Emotional eating. Lustful vices. Toxic relationships. Procrastination. Self harming words. Past dwelling. Self doubt. Self defeat.

The first thing I thought of when writing this is when I wrote an article last year about taking a walk in the cold morning which most of you know I love. There’s a different cold that you have to put layers on to withstand the chill. This morning was that. I was more prepared.

in this article above I was so uncomfortable and cold and instead of going back in and putting on layers, I punished myself with the mindset that I could handle it. I’ll just walk fast until my body. I’ve gotten to this mindset of being comfortable being bad and uncomfortable being good.

I may have become extreme with it. I didn’t realize I was harming myself until a reader brought it to my attention in the comments. I could feel their empathy and concern. I didn’t even know why I was doing this to myself. Well, this year of 2024 the revelation became clearer. You see I just got a new mattress. I needed it too.

It's kind of embarrassing how long I've had it. Let’s say I’ve been sleeping on it longer than the recommended time of having one. I endured years of horrible sleep and lower back pain for the last 3 to 4 years. It’s been off so much that I normalized lower back pain. It’s gotten bad at times. Walking always did a great job of healing it.

I thought I was just getting old and it was because I had bad posture and it was a lack of stretching. Can you imagine having a hard time putting on your pants and tying your shoes? I don’t wish back pain on anyone. Pain pills aren’t the answer.

That can be a dark path. So, I recently got the opportunity to get an excellent mattress and I’ve had it for a week. My God. Sometimes you can’t recognize your unintentional self-abuse until you’re on the other side of…

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Walter Pop Matthews IV

A writer who has written an autobiography in poetry form, songs, a play and thought provoking commentary on various online platforms.