Envy and Self Defeat Reveals Its Face Whenever I'm Triggered

I had to face demons deep within introspection. In my stillness, I no longer avoided it to see my clear water reflection.

Walter Pop Matthews IV
6 min readSep 29, 2022
Photo art by Walter P.o.p. Matthews IV

When I wrote the 1st draft of this story, I was in a very dark place, but I thank God I have someone who brought me back to the light. In this second draft, I’m still in the twilight. I pray that joy comes in the morning.

Walter

Do you ever feel jealous of others? Do you ever wonder if you're not where they are? It can be strangers on social media, people in your home town or people right in your family. I've felt envy for all of the above. Why? I don't know. I've been trying to get to the root of it. Without getting too deep into my business, a sibling recently came into some money and moved out of town. Another family member went on vacation and stopped by to see this sibling.

I was told how nice their place was. I guess that's a trigger because the sibling who once lived with me and I helped insure their car, I never really felt appreciated by them. They act inconsiderate and entitled. Another trigger is the "family member" Is on vacation, and I've watched their house and animals for many years. Why? I'm always available, I guess. I work, come home, and everyone…

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Walter Pop Matthews IV

A writer who has written an autobiography in poetry form, songs, a play and thought provoking commentary on various online platforms.